Mauie Flores

Sitti (our Honda City) is scheduled to be registered this May (btw, we call our Tucson, Black Beauty). We will be spending Ralph's birthday week in Naga so Dadijun filed a leave of absence for today and we TRIED to register Sitti as planned. I scheduled my driver's license application today to somehow make the day more fruitful. And, yes, sad to say, I also TRIED but to no avail.

The night before, I printed downloaded forms from the LTO website so that I will not need to ask for a form from this satellite office. We went to LTO, which was a few minutes drive away from home, and at exactly 8 am we had the car undergo emission testing. The car had to be parked rear first because they had to take a picture of its rear. I think this is a new procedure.

I left Dadijun and proceeded to the drug testing and medical examination center that was just next door. I paid 350 pesos for the drug testing and medical examination package. They gave me a small bottle to fill with my urine. In ten minutes, the results were ready. Bilis no? Ganun lang po yun, magic magic lang! Hehehe!

I went outside to find Dadijun paying for the TPL that costed us 750 pesos. Then we exited the facility only to find out that there is a parking fee. @#$% talaga! Paano kaya mag-emission testing na walang kotse? Pwede ba yun? So, no choice for the poor car owner but to enter the facility at an additional 30 pesos. I was still laughing a bit about the irony. We made a u-turn to enter the LTO premises and paid, yep you read it right... PAID, an additional 30 pesos parking fee. Isa nanamang malaking katangahan ng gobyerno ito! Syempre, no choice again but to enter kasi nga magi-inspect at magsi-stencil ng car di ba! @#$#% agen!

Dadijun and I parted ways again so I can proceed with my DL application. Armed with my downloaded filled up form, I went straight to Window 9 as the published step-by-step procedure instructed me to do so. Hala! Pila to death pala ang drama. At least there were chairs to sit on while waiting. As I sat at the last chair, the man who was ahead of me looked at my documents and told me to check if they will accept my form. His was taken from the LTO officer near the door. I asked the guard and confirmed that they cannot accept the printout. If I were in a fighting mood this morning, I could have challenged him about the purpose of LTO putting a downloadable form in its website. But, I reminded myself that I am an educated person and he was just doing his job. So I sat down at the last chair to fall in line for the form. Kukuha lang ng form ha, nakapila pa. Patawa talaga! There were around 50 applicants ahead of me. I looked at the Lecture Room and saw that the written and practical exams schedules were 930am and 130pm. Tamang-tama lang. So I thought... After 10 years of waiting (well, it felt like it!) a man was just ahead of me in the line. Then, a lady announced over the loud speaker that Window 9 will not be accepting DL applications anymore since the cut-off for the exams has been reached. Patawa talaga! @#$% kakatawang buhay 'to oo! When the time came for me to get the form, I was reminded by the employee about the cut-off and that he wouldn't give me the damn form anymore. Monday na lang daw. Monday niya mukha niya, he unleased the tiger in me. Amp! Gusto kong kalbuhin ang #$% @#$% yun eh. This was the conversation as I remember...

LTO Employee: Ma'am narinig niyo naman po siguro ang announcement na cut-off na po for written and practical exams.

ME: (pa-cute pa) Opo, sir. Sayang nga po eh, kinulang ng oras.

LTO Employee: Balik na lang po kayo sa Monday (giving me my SP and test results back without the ADL form).

ME: (pa-cute pa rin) Ay si Sir naman, bigyan niyo na po ako ng form ngayon, sayang naman ang pinila ko. Para po sa Monday diretso na ako sa Window 9 (na sa isip isip ko lang ay $%^* bright idea talaga na nakapila pa ang lahat para lang sa &*$%^ form na yan!).

LTO Employee: Eh wala ka pang TIN.

ME: (thinking "meron kaya akong TIN shunga wala lang card" pero syempre di ko sinabi yun kasi nga pa-cute pa at wala pang form) Sir, meron PO akong TIN kaya lang wala pa PO and card kasi di ko na naasikaso.

LTO Employee: Eh pa-verify mo sa BIR. O di kaya puntahan mo website nila... (ini-spell pa ha, kala yata tatanga tanga ako) w...w...w...dot..b..i..r..dot..g..o..v..dot..ph. (sabay abot ng form

ME: (pika na at pinagmukha akong tanga di ba, at dahil nasa akin na ang mutyang-mutya na $%&* ADL form...) Ah ganun po ba... ah alam ko po yan, titser po ako, di ako tanga... di na kelangan i-spell pa. Lagi po ako nagi-internet! (Sabay walk-out! Hmp! Itsura!)

In short, I didn't bother to stay there anymore and I went to the area where Dadijun was waiting for his form which was in the Evaluator's window. That was just Step 2 at 9 in the morning. Lunchtime came and our forms were still with the Evaluator. Fixers came and continuously gave the evaluator more forms that made ours move to the bottom. It was not a first-come, first-served basis. Money talks, in other words. The fixers and the evaluator are on a first name basis. Nagbibiruan pa nga. We even overheard the fixer saying "Pahinging print-out" and the Evaluator replied "Pahinging siopao." Kapal no! Konting kilabot naman! We ate our lunch at one of the small carinderias inside the LTO office. Ang mahal kaya, 130 pesos lahat just for 2 rice, 2 ulam, and 2 softdrinks.

After lunch, we went back to the motor vehicle registration area. A lot of people came back by 1pm. The fixers were in full force, too! Meron nga dun parang Mamasan nila, kapal ng make-up, branded ang damit, ganda ng mga alahas! Proud pa ang lola mo. She said to her client in a loud voice "Ako bahala diyan!" Grabe talaga, sing kapal ng make-up niya ang mukha niya. By 3pm we decided to pull out our forms because we knew that it was impossible for the Evaluator to even take a peek at it. Umilalim na lalo eh. The fixers were submitting documents to him in brown envelopes! One fixer heard me complaining and had the nerve to say "Dapat pinaayos niyo na lang.". I shot a dagger look at him and said "Ayoko magpalakad kasi dadami ang tulad niyo." Layo siya bigla. Sipain ko pa mukha niya eh, buti na lang lumayo. Hay naku, wala na talaga pag-asa ang gobyerno natin pag ganito ng ganito.

So, I called up my mom and asked her about the vehicle registration that Greenwoods Executive Village provides for its residents. It's on Sunday na so tamang-tama lang. We will just bring our emission test results and tpl form. Dagdag lang daw 350 for service charge. Ok na rin yun. My mom's car was registered thru this before and wala naman naging problem. Kaya lang syempre, the sticker and OR will be given on Tuesday pa yata. At least di na kami mahirapan. We were planning sana to go to LTO Makati that has, in our experience, the most efficient LTO employees and zero fixers. Naka-aircon pa. I remembered the last time Dadijun had his license renewed, the LTO staff even called him up on his cellphone to inform him that the card is ready for pick-up. Now, that's what I call government service. Eh sa LTO Cainta we felt that our taxes were not working for us. Sa monthly income tax pa lang ng asawa ko eh pwede na pasweldo sa 4 na LTO staff. Hmp! I will just go back to Socialite and ask Ms. Nora to handle my ADL application for 1800 pesos. Ok na rin yun kahit 6x ng original na magagastos kung sariling sikap. At least good for 3 years na and the renewal is more easier. I had my SP done by them and it was all a breeze. Pero 2x naman ng actual fee. Ok na rin. Kaya pala we had to go to LTO Binangonan pa eh mas malapit ang Cainta.

Ayun, umuwi kaming luhaan! We just headed straight to Robinson's Cainta and had Ube Macapuno Ice Craze (yummy!) at Jollibee pampalamig ng ulo. Then I had my groceries done. I even saw one of the fixers walking inside the mall. I told Dadijun "Uy, gumagala na si Ate, naka-quota na." I can draw all of their faces from memory, talagang tinandaan ko. Mga buwayang naglalakihan ang tiyan, mga katawan na naninilaw sa alahas, mga damit na naggagandahan. I know there are other Filipinos like me who have undergone the same ordeal. Nakakahiya. Nakakalungkot.